Couple TherapyPeople sometimes assume that couple therapy is just for couples whose relationship is really in trouble, a last resort when a relationship is at breaking point. On the contrary, research shows that therapy can be as beneficial, or even more so, earlier in relationship difficulties.
|
|
How therapy can help couplesIn therapy, couples can find a safe space in which to communicate more clearly and to reflect on their relational dynamics so they can work on resolving their difficulties and developing the kind of relationship they really want.
Of course, not all relationships can, or should, last. Couples sometimes come to therapy unsure about whether or not they want to stay in a relationship, and the process can help them clarify this for themselves and for each other. When a decision is made to end a relationship, therapy can also continue to help one or both partners come to an understanding of what went wrong and bring a sense of closure to the relationship. This makes it easier for people to move on with their lives with the hope of having a better experience in their next relationship. |
Couple therapy helps couples:
|
What happens in couple therapyThe main therapeutic approach I draw on in my work with couples is Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples which emphasises the strengthening of the emotional bond between partners through a restructuring of their interactions. As with individual counselling, each couple’s experience of counselling will be a bit different depending on the nature of the their difficulties, their preferences and their personalities, but there are some key areas that we are likely to cover at some point.
We usually begin by exploring each partner’s views and feelings about the relationship, and any aspects of it that they would like to be different. We would look at any difficulties that have come up and consider what seems to contribute to them. We are also likely to reflect on how the relationship began, and what attracted the partners to one another initially. Sometimes this gives us clues as to what each person wants and needs from their partner and how the relationship can be improved. When it may be helpful, we may also look further back at each partner’s previous experiences of family and relationships. Throughout the work, I strive to maintain a balanced and impartial position, and to ensure that both partners have equal opportunity to express themselves and to influence the direction of our work. |
Emotionally Focused TherapyEmotionally Focused Therapy is one of the most effective therapeutic approaches for helping partners re-connect with each another, resolve painful issues from their past and build a stronger bond between themselves. It is based on the assumption that problems arise in relationships when partners get stuck in negative cycles of interaction with each other. These cycles are often the unintentional result of our attempts to get our legitimate needs for closeness, affection and emotional security met in our relationship. Unfortunately the way we go about trying to get these needs met can unwittingly push our partner away rather than drawing them close. In EFT, we work on identifying the unhelpful patterns, recognising and acknowledging the underlying emotions and needs, and finding ways for partners to better meet each others needs. |